The term manakai means to make eye contact.
If you look up the word “manakai” in a Japanese dictionary, it is normally defined as “between one’s eyes,” and “before one’s eyes.” However, Dr. Jushichiro Naito, the father of childcare, used the term, meaning, “to come eye to eye with one another” and he also said that looking at your baby in the eye is the very essence of childcare.
Even the babies who have just come into this world can see. If you look intently at a newborn’s eyes, the baby tries to meet your eyes. If you slowly look away, the baby tries to follow the movement of your eyes. Try talking to your baby with your eyes. When you hold and look at your baby with a tender loving attitude, your baby can sense your affection. This is the childcare with “manakai” (visual communication) Dr. Naito advocated.
Try making eye contact when your baby won't stop crying.
Babies and children sometimes seem to cry forever! When that happens, do you happen to lull or cuddle your baby or child with a sense of uneasiness or panic inside you? Some of you may have noticed your child knows you are anxious or in a panic. You are not wrong there. In fact, your baby is sensing something is not quite right and won’t simply calm down by cuddling. If you are thinking, “Gosh! Stop crying! It’s frustrating!” your baby won’t stop crying so easily.
Try getting rid of your negative feeling toward your baby’s cry and communicate with your baby eye to eye, giving a tender loving gaze. Surprisingly, your baby will soon calm down and try to make eye-to-eye contact with you. The “mental dialogue” through visual communication between baby and parent is very important to raise a healthy baby, physically and psychologically.
Make eye contact while lovingly and gently holding your baby.
Please give your baby a gentle cuddle in addition to visual communication. It will provide excellent gentle stimulation for your baby. Dr. Noboru Kobayashi, the supreme advisor of our institute, explains that childcare during the infant stage before the development of verbal communication should be given mainly with “tenderness” as described in the study of “Child Bioemotinemics” that he advocates. Although your baby can’t understand what you are saying, it is important to gently talk to your baby while gently touching to make physical communication with him or her. What’s ideal for the cerebral development of babies is to provide repeated mild stimulations while caring for them. Please cuddle your baby with a tender loving feeling. And when you do, make dialogue with your eyes. While you have visual communication with your baby, talk gently as well. Please value such moments.
From "making eye contact as the foundation of childcare" of Childcare Basics : The Japanuse Method
I believe that child-rearing is founded on good eye contact. In other words, at the base of parenting lies the importance of looking into the eyes of the baby.
Even babies just born, when given a kind look by someone, will look back into the person’s eyes. It is this “eye contact” which relays the loving feeling of the mother to her baby's heart.
I once had another doctor going on rounds with me. One day she said “Oh, how frustrating!” When I asked her why, she replied "Because when you, Dr. Naito, go on rounds, all the babies become quiet !”
I do not mean to boast, but I am called “Dr. Naito of the Smiling Children.” There is no magic in this trick. I just work at speaking to the child with my eyes, clearing my mind of worldly thoughts. Interestingly enough, if I think “The baby's very noisy, so let me try soothing him” or “I wonder if the baby will take to me,” the baby seems to notice my ulterior motive and will not accept me. Therefore, what is most important is our feelings and the looks with which we relay these feelings.
Even babies who cannot fully understand words can carry out conversations through looks. These heart-to-heart talks carried on through eye messages are very important in nurturing a healthy body and mind in the child.
Just remember to hold the child and look into his eyes with kindness. This is all it takes to relay your love and to put him at ease. The love which you convey in this manner can be given with no restraint, for you can never give too much of this kind of love.
